A Week's Race...And Boy Am I Tired

This past week was an extraordinary time for race relations in America.

We felt the cut of the dismantling of the Voting Rights Act by the Supreme Court. The majority gave the perception that racism is dead and gone and thus the need to protect the rights of all voters is no longer necessary. How quickly they have seem to forgot the battles of the 2012 election...or did they?

We watched in awe as the first African-American president visited a place where his, and his wife's, ancestors took their last steps on their homeland and made the voyage to slavery or their death. And in contrast, saw a television icon's fall from grace as she longingly recalled some aspects of slavery and utilized disparaging language.

And I watched, as did many others, as traditional and digital media turned its vicious talons onto a 19-year-old girl. Rachel Jeantel, a witness in the Trayvon Martin trial, took the stand in an attempt to share what she knew of her friend's last moments. She didn't do it to be judged, maligned, or ridiculed by people who won't care who she is next week. But that is what we did to her.

I'm not surprised by the reaction of the mainstream media, the attorneys (or their families) or the general public. I figured they would be callous as to diminish her because as one media personality said, she "didn't speak the Queen's English."

But all of us -- her community -- is what made me sad. We are the hardest on our own. We are the most critical of those closest to us. And our comments about Ms. Jeantel were harsh. There were comments on her demeanor, her comments, her appearance and her facial expressions. While some stood boldly to cheer her on and give her support, most just chimed in with the naysayers. We forgot the most important thing; Ms. Jeantel is not a media correspondent, she is not a spokesperson, she is just a young lady thrust into the public spotlight because she lost her friend in a tragedy. And now, one of our sports icons (Lolo Jones) has chosen to use their spotlight and shine it negatively on Ms. Jeantel. Much to the dismay of the Twitterverse, who rose up quickly to take her to task. Can anyone of us remember what we were like at 19 and thought about how we would have handled ourselves if placed in a similar situation?

So, I'm asking us to stop it. Like our mothers and grandmothers would say, "if you don't have anything nice to say, then just don't say anything"... especially on social media.

~LT

Women Warriors

Recently, I was watching an ad for a new cable television show, “The White Queen.” The tag line for
the trailer was “Men go to Battle; Women Wage War.” That statement stuck with me as I found it absolutely true.

How many times have you watched guys have an argument, only to talk it out on a basketball court or over a sporting event and be done with it? They move on, rarely to bring it up ever again and their friendship continues.

But women...oh how different we are! We can hold on to a wrong until we drain every last bit of angst from it and then we (like a line from the “The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood”) “chew on it ‘til all the flavor’s gone and stick it in [our] hair.” I’m sure we do this both for safe keeping of the detrimental deed that has been done against us and to reuse it at a later date at the most appropriate (or inappropriate) time. We lose friendships and often, years after, can’t remember why.

So why do we do this? Why do we wage war until nothing is left but a field dead friendships? Why do we go out of way to cut members of our sisterhood at the jugular, expose their vulnerability and go for the kill shot? Why can’t we be more like the guys and work it out and let it go?

Please know that I do not have the answers as I have been both the recipient and the deliverer of the kill shot. But maybe, just maybe, by writing this I’ll be more discerning the next time I’m faced with the choice of going to battle and waging war. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll choose a battle that can be overcome instead of the war that cannot be undone.

Ladies, what will you do?

LT

San Diego - Relaxation & Vision

San Diego

For the past two years, my husband, TW) has played in a golf tournament in beautiful San Diego. I tag along to visit what has become one of my favorite places – Balboa Park. There I can get lost in a sea of exquisite museums and new experiences. I write this post from there.

Balboa Park has 14 museums…which is more than I can ever think to visit in one day. So I pick my choices of how to spend my day very carefully.

On this trip, my first stop was the Japanese Friendship Garden, where I watched a Japanese tea ceremony. In our “hurry up and wait” society, I enjoyed watching the slow and methodical process. Each step of the ceremony was performed with great care and deliberation.

My takeaway: Not everything has to be quick and instant. Sometimes the best (and most tasty) things take time.

Next was my favorite spot, the Museum of Photographic Arts (MOPA). I love this place!!! My goal is to have film photography as my hobby (please know that as I write this I actually have a pear martini in my hand at The Prado)! MOPA has the best team and they are extremely patient with all of my novice questions.

My takeaway: Find something that relaxes you, even something that you’re not good at and make it a part of your routine.

My last museum stop was the Timken Museum of Art. It is a great collection of American and European pieces. It’s a smaller museum but the quality of the collection more than makes up for its size. But I enjoy looking at the detail and the artistry.

My takeaway: When you take the time to master your craft, it can provide benefit, even joy to not just yourself but to others.

And that dear friends, is the conclusion of my day at Balboa Park (minus the stop at Prado and the conversation with the Hare Krishnas).

So…what takeaways will you discover during your next excursion?

Joy!

LT